You Get Presents on Easter?!

If you’re C.J. you do. =]

And straight from Japan thanks to my brother…

I love Easter =]

Denied and Embarrassed

Scratch the last post that I JUST wrote. Screw that stupid feeling I had and what s***, TOTALLY shot down. So here’s the so called “scoop”:

I came home from school last night and thought that maybe she’d be online so we could talk. I found her not to be online so I didn’t think much of it. Couple hours pass by and I start to wonder what’s up. And so being the so-called “gitty middleschooler” that I was feeling like for the past couple of days, I decided to go on my other screen name and see whether or not (as a possibility considering that I said that she didn’t seem like she was into talking to me) she had blocked me. Yes I know, it does seem stalkerish, but like I said, I was feeling like a gitty middleschooler and when I get like that, I think the worst-case scenarios and start to think that maybe I get blocked on AIM and the person I’m talking to doesnt like me. And to my dismay, I was in fact blocked. I felt real sad because I felt like we had something and then she just turns the other way. I should have suspected it, but like I said before, it didnt seem like she was making the effort when we talk, so feeling that way kind of helps me in trying to get back up. But nonetheless, I felt totally denied that she blocked me when I thought we were actually getting somewhere, but totally embarrassed that I made a fool of myself and she didn’t see me that way. So I’m kinda upset and frustrated, but more of a “ouch” feeling. Things happen though, I’ll get back up.

I think I’m getting closer

I’m on the verge to actually finding someone that I can probably – and hopefully – date! Her name is Valeria, she’s from Irvine, but originally from bonita. I met her at a party in which I found myself helping her yak and what not. Yeah I know, kind of an awkward way to meet someone, but hey I met her and that’s all that matters right? Well, I’m talking to her (but I don’t know if I’m actually “Talking” talking you know? But hopefully I get to that point. Or maybe I’m getting a little ahead and myself and believing that she might like me but in reality she’s just trying to be friendly. Gah! I don’t know! But right now, our conversations are kinda lame. I don’t wanna be unfair and say it’s her fault, but I don’t think she’s making an effort, which kinda leads me to believe that she’s not feelin me. I keep asking all the questions and I’m noticing how annoying I sound. Maybe she’s just being nice to me because she’s trying to accept me as a friend?But in a sense, I think she MIGHT be feeling me. I hope she is though, because she’s really nice and I would really like to get to know her more. If not, then it’s ok. I mean, at least I’m trying to bounce back from all these other past events, isn’t this an effort for me to bounce back at least!? sj;odah;djkhsahasd! Too much thinking!

I sound like a gitty little middleschooler, but while I’m typing this I’m keeping my cool, so it’s hard to comprehend how I’m actually feeling. No matter what though, I know things will come out right the way it should be, things happen for a reason.

Then there’s Kristine. I wanted to get with her -somewhat- a while back because she’s a real cool gal but that was way back when. Now we’re kinda hanging out at the pad watching Grey’s Anatomy (which is kinda interesting I might add) so I don’t know what to say about that. Maybe the next time we watch the remaining episodes I’ll come up with what’s going on, but I’m not expecting much from her because she wouldnt be interested.

All in all, I think that no matter what happens, whether I get one or the other or even none, I know I’m making the effort to take the next big step from the past relationships that I’ve been taking a break from for so long. But hopefully I’ll get a lil closer to Valeria. =)

Shooting Star

So I was on the way back to my pad with my brother from dropping off Jace and Myles, and we both saw this shooting star, VERY visible, not like most shooting stars. This one was green and very close, it was so beautiful; wierd that it was green, but it was just so beautiful. And of course, I had to make myself a wish. There have been times that I’ve made a wish to a shooting star and they haven’t come true, but there has been a couple where they have come true in a matter of time, one resulted in me being in a long relationship with Joann. Hopefully this green shooting star can get me the same results with someone else. Help me out Green Star =)