And then there's C.J.

Kiss Me

solesurvivor — Mon, 14 May 2007 01:15:19 +0000

We had our first kiss last night at a party. We were both drunk, but it was the key to breaking the ice. We’re closer than before and we’re on the line of being official, but not yet. After the party, I stopped by her house to spend some alone time with her, just talked and slept together. Now I’m only scared about the next couple of encounters because she’s enjoying being single, but we enjoy each other’s company, so it’s gonna be hard to keep at the same pace when we’ve just took a step to another level of this relationship. I wanna be with her, but I don’t wanna rush her because I don’t wanna fuck things up. I like her… a lot, and I just hope it all works out, and so far I’m doing good.

So Far So Good…

solesurvivor — Wed, 02 May 2007 20:03:42 +0000

Well, I think my previous deductions about Jaye and my questioning of talking to her was proved wrong. It seems she has moved on and that’s great. But the bigger question now is if she really likes me. Again, I think she does, because we’re still doing that 3-5 in the morning talking, which is awesome, and I mean, who the hell talks till 3 in the morning to someone that they don’t particularly like? And unlike my last two attempts of a relationship, I have finally found absolutely nothing to run away from. There are some minor things that might bother me, but this time I’m fine. Like Aireen, I had a problem with her wierd personality and that made me run far. But with Jaye, I actually like her. Sure she’s short but it’s not something that bothers me, even though it usually does if it were some other girl. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I think it’s safe to say that things are actually lookin good, not like the other girls.

So At Least She’s Not Blockin Me

solesurvivor — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 07:53:18 +0000

So I think we’re talking, I mean if you call me and her chatting on AIM till 5 in the morning two nights in a row, and no she’s not talking to her friends at the same time. But again, she’s still just fresh outta the game, like a month, and she knows EXACTLY when they broke up. So now I’m put on the spotlight once again to answer my own questions about my own situation. Should I be talking to her? Am I encouraging her to move on for the wrong reasons? Or even, should I help her feel bad that her boyfriend is out doing things?

She’s out of a relationship, is it wrong of me to talk to her? I like her, and I hope she likes me too, but she’s got baggage. I told myself “who cares” when this first started, but now I’m beginning to regret it because she could be confused due to my talking and what not.

I tell her to move one, but I want her to move on so she can see what I’m all about. I give her good and encouraging advice only to be thinking how deceitful I am knowing I’m doing it for my own good to be with her. I want her to see me, but it’s supposed to be about her now.

She wants an eye out on her ex through my friend Jorge who’s gonna be at the same party. Should I let him keep an eye out, knowing that no matter what he does, she’s gonna be hurt that he’s there to begin with?

I hope I make the right decisions and I hope I don’t fuck things up because this time, I actually like this girl. I wanna help her get over her ex, and let her know that I’m here for her with open arms. Please God, don’t let me lose this one and help me choose the next words wisely.

Crossing My Fingers.

solesurvivor — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:58:40 +0000

Alright, so it has been a long while since I’ve written on this thing and there has been a lot that has happened. Lemme just sum up some stuff before I get the good stuff.

I’ve been working out like every other day and I’ve gotten good results, ladies will not be disappointed I went to Seattle last week to see old friends and family, mainly to spend time with Lola Ba for her birthday. The truth is, this might be the last time I see her before something bad might happen to her, since she is already old, her and Lola Naning, and she’s older than Lola Ba! That’s the main reason I was there and I’m glad I was there, and I almost cried knowing that that information. Saw all the old family, everything is the same, but OK in some parts minus Auntie Con and Uncle Mike, I hope they work it out. Bryan, my best friend, hasn’t changed and that was great, although he spent so much time with his girlfriend, Paula, while I was there and didn’t fit any room for me which I thought was rude. All in all, Seattle was whack. Not the city, somewhat, but the overall trip was shit. That’s all I can say, my memory will do me good in reminding how horrible of a trip it was.

Now for my good news. I think I may be in the “talking” phases with another girl =D Her name is Jennifer, or Jaye. She’s a looker. But I’m having my doubts again, but this time because this one JUST got out of a one year relationship. I normally don’t attempt anything with girls just getting out of long term relationships because I don’t wanna be a rebound. I would HATE that, but I wanna see how this goes. I met her a long time ago at Keane’s P Party way back when, and I recently met her again at another party. She told me we met at the P Party but I didn’t remember. Then we met at another party and she spoke to me, then I looked her up on myspace (YES, typical me. -_-) Then I commented her a couple then she responded once as a message. No one does that unless they like them eh? Hehe, then I got her AIM. I hope everything turns out the way I want, so now, I’m just crossing my fingers. =]

You Get Presents on Easter?!

solesurvivor — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:06:38 +0000

If you’re C.J. you do. =]

And straight from Japan thanks to my brother…

I love Easter =]

Denied and Embarrassed

solesurvivor — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 00:54:46 +0000

Scratch the last post that I JUST wrote. Screw that stupid feeling I had and what s***, TOTALLY shot down. So here’s the so called “scoop”:

I came home from school last night and thought that maybe she’d be online so we could talk. I found her not to be online so I didn’t think much of it. Couple hours pass by and I start to wonder what’s up. And so being the so-called “gitty middleschooler” that I was feeling like for the past couple of days, I decided to go on my other screen name and see whether or not (as a possibility considering that I said that she didn’t seem like she was into talking to me) she had blocked me. Yes I know, it does seem stalkerish, but like I said, I was feeling like a gitty middleschooler and when I get like that, I think the worst-case scenarios and start to think that maybe I get blocked on AIM and the person I’m talking to doesnt like me. And to my dismay, I was in fact blocked. I felt real sad because I felt like we had something and then she just turns the other way. I should have suspected it, but like I said before, it didnt seem like she was making the effort when we talk, so feeling that way kind of helps me in trying to get back up. But nonetheless, I felt totally denied that she blocked me when I thought we were actually getting somewhere, but totally embarrassed that I made a fool of myself and she didn’t see me that way. So I’m kinda upset and frustrated, but more of a “ouch” feeling. Things happen though, I’ll get back up.

I think I’m getting closer

solesurvivor — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 08:46:06 +0000

I’m on the verge to actually finding someone that I can probably – and hopefully – date! Her name is Valeria, she’s from Irvine, but originally from bonita. I met her at a party in which I found myself helping her yak and what not. Yeah I know, kind of an awkward way to meet someone, but hey I met her and that’s all that matters right? Well, I’m talking to her (but I don’t know if I’m actually “Talking” talking you know? But hopefully I get to that point. Or maybe I’m getting a little ahead and myself and believing that she might like me but in reality she’s just trying to be friendly. Gah! I don’t know! But right now, our conversations are kinda lame. I don’t wanna be unfair and say it’s her fault, but I don’t think she’s making an effort, which kinda leads me to believe that she’s not feelin me. I keep asking all the questions and I’m noticing how annoying I sound. Maybe she’s just being nice to me because she’s trying to accept me as a friend?But in a sense, I think she MIGHT be feeling me. I hope she is though, because she’s really nice and I would really like to get to know her more. If not, then it’s ok. I mean, at least I’m trying to bounce back from all these other past events, isn’t this an effort for me to bounce back at least!? sj;odah;djkhsahasd! Too much thinking!

I sound like a gitty little middleschooler, but while I’m typing this I’m keeping my cool, so it’s hard to comprehend how I’m actually feeling. No matter what though, I know things will come out right the way it should be, things happen for a reason.

Then there’s Kristine. I wanted to get with her -somewhat- a while back because she’s a real cool gal but that was way back when. Now we’re kinda hanging out at the pad watching Grey’s Anatomy (which is kinda interesting I might add) so I don’t know what to say about that. Maybe the next time we watch the remaining episodes I’ll come up with what’s going on, but I’m not expecting much from her because she wouldnt be interested.

All in all, I think that no matter what happens, whether I get one or the other or even none, I know I’m making the effort to take the next big step from the past relationships that I’ve been taking a break from for so long. But hopefully I’ll get a lil closer to Valeria. =)

Shooting Star

solesurvivor — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 09:17:54 +0000

So I was on the way back to my pad with my brother from dropping off Jace and Myles, and we both saw this shooting star, VERY visible, not like most shooting stars. This one was green and very close, it was so beautiful; wierd that it was green, but it was just so beautiful. And of course, I had to make myself a wish. There have been times that I’ve made a wish to a shooting star and they haven’t come true, but there has been a couple where they have come true in a matter of time, one resulted in me being in a long relationship with Joann. Hopefully this green shooting star can get me the same results with someone else. Help me out Green Star =)

Protected: Them Bad Boyz.

solesurvivor — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 09:59:05 +0000

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Christmas came early for CJ

solesurvivor — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 07:43:52 +0000

There’s a reason why I’m a SOLE survivor.

Military Blue Jordans sz 11: $12o

Yes I know I’m jobless, but I got a call yesterday after football that Dlush wants a second interview! So I’m so confident in myself that I went straight to my savings account and got these from Christian. Thanks Chris! And Lucky Number Slevin is such a badass movie.