Kiss Me

We had our first kiss last night at a party. We were both drunk, but it was the key to breaking the ice. We’re closer than before and we’re on the line of being official, but not yet. After the party, I stopped by her house to spend some alone time with her, just talked and slept together. Now I’m only scared about the next couple of encounters because she’s enjoying being single, but we enjoy each other’s company, so it’s gonna be hard to keep at the same pace when we’ve just took a step to another level of this relationship. I wanna be with her, but I don’t wanna rush her because I don’t wanna fuck things up. I like her… a lot, and I just hope it all works out, and so far I’m doing good.

So Far So Good…

Well, I think my previous deductions about Jaye and my questioning of talking to her was proved wrong. It seems she has moved on and that’s great. But the bigger question now is if she really likes me. Again, I think she does, because we’re still doing that 3-5 in the morning talking, which is awesome, and I mean, who the hell talks till 3 in the morning to someone that they don’t particularly like? And unlike my last two attempts of a relationship, I have finally found absolutely nothing to run away from. There are some minor things that might bother me, but this time I’m fine. Like Aireen, I had a problem with her wierd personality and that made me run far. But with Jaye, I actually like her. Sure she’s short but it’s not something that bothers me, even though it usually does if it were some other girl. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I think it’s safe to say that things are actually lookin good, not like the other girls.

So At Least She’s Not Blockin Me

So I think we’re talking, I mean if you call me and her chatting on AIM till 5 in the morning two nights in a row, and no she’s not talking to her friends at the same time. But again, she’s still just fresh outta the game, like a month, and she knows EXACTLY when they broke up. So now I’m put on the spotlight once again to answer my own questions about my own situation. Should I be talking to her? Am I encouraging her to move on for the wrong reasons? Or even, should I help her feel bad that her boyfriend is out doing things?

She’s out of a relationship, is it wrong of me to talk to her? I like her, and I hope she likes me too, but she’s got baggage. I told myself “who cares” when this first started, but now I’m beginning to regret it because she could be confused due to my talking and what not.

I tell her to move one, but I want her to move on so she can see what I’m all about.  I give her good and encouraging advice only to be thinking how deceitful I am knowing I’m doing it for my own good to be with her. I want her to see me, but it’s supposed to be about her now.

She wants an eye out on her ex through my friend Jorge who’s gonna be at the same party. Should I let him keep an eye out, knowing that no matter what he does, she’s gonna be hurt that he’s there to begin with?

I hope I make the right decisions and I hope I don’t fuck things up because this time, I actually like this girl. I wanna help her get over her ex, and let her know that I’m here for her with open arms. Please God, don’t let me lose this one and help me choose the next words wisely.

Crossing My Fingers.

Alright, so it has been a long while since I’ve written on this thing and there has been a lot that has happened. Lemme just sum up some stuff before I get the good stuff.

I’ve been working out like every other day and I’ve gotten good results, ladies will not be disappointed I went to Seattle last week to see old friends and family, mainly to spend time with Lola Ba for her birthday. The truth is, this might be the last time I see her before something bad might happen to her, since she is already old, her and Lola Naning, and she’s older than Lola Ba! That’s the main reason I was there and I’m glad I  was there, and I almost cried knowing that that information. Saw all the old family, everything is the same, but OK in some parts minus Auntie Con and Uncle Mike, I hope they work it out. Bryan, my best friend, hasn’t changed and that was great, although he spent so much time with his girlfriend, Paula, while I was there and didn’t fit any room for me which I thought was rude.  All in all, Seattle was whack. Not the city, somewhat, but the overall trip was shit. That’s all I can say, my memory will do me good in reminding how horrible of a trip it was.

Now for my good news. I think I may be in the “talking” phases with another girl =D Her name is Jennifer, or Jaye. She’s a looker. But I’m having my doubts again, but this time because this one JUST got out of a one year relationship. I normally don’t attempt anything with girls just getting out of long term relationships because I don’t wanna be a rebound. I would HATE that, but I wanna see how this goes. I met her a long time ago at Keane’s P Party way back when, and I recently met her again at another party. She told me we met at the P Party but I didn’t remember. Then we met at another party and she spoke to me, then I looked her up on myspace (YES, typical me. -_-) Then I commented her a couple then she responded once as a message. No one does that unless they like them eh? Hehe, then I got her AIM.  I hope everything turns out the way I want, so now, I’m just crossing my fingers. =]